The Best of the Cheap Beers
There are some people who don’t just drink, they drink. These people go out and get smashed, tore-up, completely trashed drunk. And they’ve got the knowledge that goes with it. Especially the knowledge about what to drink.
These are the guys who hit up the liquor stores for the Big Three in party beers: Natty, Busch and Keystone. Then they kill that 30 case between four people during the pregame. And, not surprisingly, with such strong drinkers out there, there are some equally strong opinions behind which beer to shotgun.
Sure you can make a case that other beers - like Coors Light or PBR - should be included in the cheap beer category, but we’re only focusing on three for now. Three beers that we feel have seemingly no other purpose except to be guzzled by college students and rednecks.
The Comparison
The strengths of each beer vary by intention and palate. But, of course, there’s still got to be a clear winner. And there is. Let’s start at the bottom, though, and work our way up:
Bottom: NATTY LIGHT
Natty blows. Plain and simple. You can’t serve Aquafina and Natty next to each other, because no one would ever be able to tell the difference. Maybe that’s a lie, but Natty’s a seriously weak beer. While proponents argue that it’s cheap and it gets the job done, so do these other two beers, and they don’t completely suck.
Middle: KEYSTONE
Keystone’s good because they openly advertise to the college drinker demographic, even using the ‘Stone name on their packaging every now and then. The downside of Keystone is that it’s like Busch, watered down with Natty. Anything you can say that’s good about Keystone, you can say even more so about Busch.
Winner: BUSCH LIGHT
That leaves us with Busch: the winner of the cheap beers. Busch has a pretty terrible flavor and little appeal, but if you need to bottom-feed, you’re going to want to do so with Busch.
Conclusion
If you can handle a beer bong that’s delivered off of a flight of stairs, you should be smart enough to be cracking Busch into that six-foot long tube. Because you’re not just drinking, you’re drinking.
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Busch sucks.
Me, I prefer the PBR
pbr is for pusses trying to hop on the trend bus
‘Stones all the way. Busch is for NASCAR fans and those that wish to spend the entire next day spraying ass matter all over the bowl.
Keystone hits that palate just right with a nice citrus overtone and and aroma that, unlike the other two, doesn’t remind one of rotting meat and cabbage.
PBR and the Champagne of beers blow busch lite away.
Diet coke and GIN is the only way to go!
Matt is a girl.
You can’t forget about The Beast.
For those of you not from Wisconsin thats Milwaukee’s Best Light
30 packs of extra gold
Who drinks Natty Lite, tho? Natty Ice has twice the alcohol and the same amount of cheap-beer taste.
How the High Life didn’t make the list is beyond me.
How can you have a best of the cheap beers with only 3 beers? There is a cornucopia of cheap beers out there!
But for my money I will take the Champagne of beers any day
Dude, this list is weak. As EJH said, there are so many more to review. At least post a poll and let us vote…The Beast and Old Mil were my beers of choice.
When I was growing up, Schaefer beer had an add campaign with the tag line - “the one to have when you’re having more than one.” Too bad you can’t use that campaign in this day and age - perfect for the college market.
What the hell is “Natty” or am I out of touch? Would it kill you to use the real name just once in the article?
ICEHOUSE—cheaper than MGD and at 5.5% can’t be beat!!!
Give me a St. Bernadus abt 12 any day. at 10% alcohol by volume, one of those will fuck you up quicker than a case of horse piss. Drink good beer and Respect Beer
I prefer natty ice…..its perfect for your everyday buzz and helps me get to sleep at night. The all around bang for your buck.
Although for special occasions like X-mas. I love Killians Irish Red.
What dildo came up with this list??? He must not have tasted a truly nasty brew if he puts these three at the worst. natty, Keystone, and BL are in the top ten but are nowhere near the worst. Not to mention all of the Malts which will rip your a$$hole out. My bottom 3 in no particular order are: Beasty Lite, Miller High Life, and PBR. Drinking any of these in excess will leave you feeling like someone drove nails in your skull while simultaneously butt-douching you with acid.
I rate beers on how they taste as a spare. A spare is a beer that you can keep under your car seat for an undetermined amount of time, pull it out in a time of need, open and consume it and not notice any degradation to the taste whatsoever. Thats a truly shjty beer.
Jacksteel is an idiot. Must be an amateur. “Natty” has been used since 1982, dipshit.
You all want the worst of the worst. Carling. Bad, cheap beer. Me and my buds won’t even consume it. And we’re in high school.
Beast
Old Milwaulke in the Longneck is by far the best cheap beer and you can make some sweet furniture with the cases.
HAMM’S MMMMMMMM. Wouldnt you like an ice cold Hamm’s…right now
I have drank many different kinds of beer. From good mircobrews to the shit you buy at the gas station the just says beer on it in red lettering. I had a taste test with my family and it include a handle of the the main stream domestic light beers. Keystone came out last across the board. But an interesting surprise from the results that Natural Light “Natty” and Bud Light got confused for one another on several score cards. The three Anhieser Busch beers (Bud Light, Busch Light, and Natty) were the top three beers in that order. Coors products Keystone light and coors light took the last twp spots. My family is by no means an Anhieser Busch family. we injoy all sorts of imports and seasonal brews.
Inconclusion,
Anhieser Busch King, of cheap beer.
Fair&Balanced_Drinker, you are a total duoche-bag. Why would you make your family drink all of that shjty beer, you suck gorilla c*ck; I am sooooo glad I am not related to your cheap a$$. For dinner, did you bring them road kill??? If you want to drink cheap shjt by all means go ahead, but don’t make other innocent family members consume a$$ blasters with you, you f*ck-stick. Where is your trailer located??? I must burn it down immediately to teach you a lesson.
IWANNAPISSONYOU, I have read your last couple posts and I see you adding nothing of importance to this message board. Your use of expletives in your previous posts and you reply to mine shows your awesome grasp of the English language. (That’s sarcasm if you did know. Its in the dictionary under S look it up.) I see that you posted at almost 3 AM. Must have been a late night since you most likely don’t have a job. I would even guess that you spent a portion of your well fare check on the alcohol you were drinking. Trying to drown yours sorrows, try to forget about how your dad skipped town on your mom. Being angry at the world that no one whats to claim your bastard ass as their kid. As far as the trailer comment it is right next to yours you bigoted, uneducated, lower middle class degenerate.
P.S.
IWANNAPISSONYOU, please die
Love,
Everyone
HaHaHa!!! Fair&Balanced_Drinker, wow, you really nailed me. If your trailer really is the one next to mine, I would like to apologize to you. It seems that for the past couple of years I’ve been pissing off of my back deck and directly onto your front steps…oops!!
Also, don’t hate me because I don’t work, instead, channel that anger into becoming that lead fry cook you know you can be; that will be a nice pay raise for us…oops!!, I mean you. Please, try to remember on my next visit that I don’t like so much salt on mine.
P.S.
My father didn’t skip town, he was on a mission trip trying to rescue your mother from the brothels of Amsterdam. It has taken him quite some time but he has been made some headway, he says she has almost quit prostituting for methamphetamine on several different occasions. I hope she’s home by Christmas (but I’m not betting on it).
Oh yeah, I almost forgot…if you want the wheels to your house back, I know who has them.
LoLz
whoever made the comment about bottled beer… just because crap is in a bottle doesn’t mean it tastes any better than the SAME crap in the can. This is a common misconception. Your brain is telling you that this beer tastes good because it’s in a bottle, GET THAT OUT OF YOUR HEAD, its the SAME beer.
Ok wow so Im officially outraged that King Cobra 40s were not part of this discussion. I mean for $4 you can drink 7 beers with a 6% alcohol conent. I mean thats the way to go. I garauntee you’ll be feelin it after 2 40s. Also worth mentioning is 2-11 Steel Reserve. But what I like to do after Im waisted is watch this hilarious show called Cold Wars man it cracks me up.
http://www.digitalfuntown.com/showchannel.php?page=8&title=Alaska&swf=alaska&fcontent_id=123