Top 10 signs your girlfriend’s a SLUT!

 

You might want to worry if:

10) She calls you by the wrong name during sex. Different names. Repeatedly.

9) When you Google her name, all of the sites that come up are porn sites.

8) She eats dick for breakfast

7) Her name is Amber, Tiffany or Cindi.

6) She has a bigger porn collection than you do.

5) She is a regular at the free health clinic. They know her by name. [Read more]

Small School Does State: Part 1 - The Set-Up

Part 1 of a featured weekly series from Minor Lapel:

(All names have been changed for both convincing legal and moral reasons. Everything else remains the same.)

THE IDEA

The nature of the College Drinker is an ambiguous one. While the College Drinker can drink with the precision and refinement of a connoisseur, he sees no problem in drinking 10 beers that, collectively, cost less than a Happy Meal. As a self-proclaimed College Drinker, I wanted to determine how my drinking compared to that of others at other schools.

First, allow me to set the baseline of my drinking experience: I am a student at a small private school in the Mid West. Worse, my school has dormitories named after the founders of the prohibitionist movement. While the drinking culture at my school is nascent at best, between a sampling of bars and fraternity parties, it is still able to provide a fair proving ground for up-and-coming alcohol enthusiasts.

With this in mind, three of my friends and I decided to compare our own experience at Northwestern with that of a huge 40,000+ student public university. An iconic “State School.”

THE TEAM

I assembled a crack team of College Drinkers that I was confident could handle anything the state schools could offer.

First on the team was [Read more]

Teach Small Children Something Worthwhile

Now that’s a kid who’s actually being useful.

Super Bowl: Anheuser Busch Spends $18 Million So You Will Drink Bud Light

NEWS: Anheuser Busch has dedicated 7 commercials to its Bud Light brand, which is already the best selling brand in the world.

The biggest brewer in America has purchased a total of 9 Super Bowl spots - which have been selling for as high as $3 million per :30 spot. Anheuser Busch has always been a big Super Bowl marketer, with many of the most memorable commercials in pop-culture recent history. But, in the past Anheuser Busch has split these spots between its many best-selling brands which include Bud Light, Budweiser, Michelob, Bass, Beck’s, Grolsch, Stella Artois, Rolling Rock, Busch, Natural Light, and many others.

This year, however, they are dedicating 7 of these spots exclusively to Bud Light, for a total of $18 million spent on the brand in one single program. This is the largest media buy by any company for one single brand during a single event. Bud Light is already the #1 selling brand in America. [Read more]

Relay For Life: Sponsored by Booze and Cigs

Beer: The cause and solution to all of life’s problems.

What an ironic sponsorship.

Price of Beer is Gonna Rise!

NEWS: Shortages of the two main ingredients in beer - barley and hops - are going to have a major impact on prices in the near future. It’s gonna go up. Way up.

The price of barley and hops has increased by as much as 500 percent in some instances. Brewers said the average cost of a six-pack of domestic beer would likely rise about a dollar by the end of the month, just a few days before the Super Bowl. Retail tracking services say beer sales traditionally rise as much 15 percent in the two weeks before the game.

Prices in some pubs have already risen anywhere from 25 to 75 cents a pint. [Read more]

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