Breathalyzer Experiments

How many times have you wondered, “Just what is my BAC?  How many beers can I have before I’m no longer under the limit to drive?  I feel pretty drunk, but am I even close to getting black out?”

These are all life-pressing questions that most of us won’t find out until we get pulled over while driving down the interstate at night with no lights on, off road, while pissing out your passenger side door.  But we at College Drinker like to put things to the test.  For the good of science, I subjected myself to continuous breathalyzer testing throughout a night of binge drinking.

So here is one night where my drinking buddy was my Breathalyzer:

Before I give you my test scores there is one thing you need to understand: BAC isn’t universal.  There are tons of variables from person to person and from test to test.  Me being a 5’10”, 180-pound male means I’ll have different blow outs than your little sister.  What we also found was that testing immediately after you even just take a sip of alcohol doubles your BAC.

The reason for this is simple science and can help you if you’ve ever in a sticky situation.  While BAC measures the amount of alcohol in your blood, a breathalyzer measures how much alcohol is in your breath (shocker right?).  When the blood filled with alcohol passes through your lungs, it passes over air vessels and gets caught.  This way, the proportion of alcohol within your bloodstream is equal to the amount of alcohol absorbed in these vessels.  So if you were to take a quick swing of alcohol and then test your BAC, the test will be invalid because there will be a much higher concentration of alcohol in your mouth than in your blood.

Enough science, lets get to the experiment!

Over the span of a three hour night of drinking I consumed eleven beers.  After which I tested out some common myths concerning how to lower a breathalyzer reading.  To start off the night, I did just that.

Can Mouthwash give you a positive reading on a breathalyzer test?

The answer in this case was yes.  After blowing a .00, I mouthwashed, waited a minute and then blew a .04.  Now normally for a 21 year old, this is no big deal.  However, you might have a case on your hand if you fail a breathalyzer test in a no tolerance state and you’re under 21.

Let the testing begin!

Once I got back down to a .00 I let the night begin.  After my FIRST BEER, I blew a .00 again.  Again, I am your average drinker with a high tolerance so don’t assume one beer won’t do any damage every time.  When I reached my THIRD BEER I finally hit .08.  Now the night was getting ready to begin.

Scientifically by this point I had, “General feeling of well being, relaxation, lower inhibitions, sensation of warmth.  Euphoria.  Some minor impairment of reasoning and memory, lowering of caution.  Driving skills may be impaired at this level of intoxication.”  But this early in the night I felt like a champ.  I was celebrating my reaching the legal limit and was ready to take on more and more beer.

Beers FOUR through SIX were relatively the same.  I teetered back and forth between .09 and .10 the entire time.  I was on the brink of “Significant impairment of motor coordination and loss of good judgment.  Speech may be slurred; balance, vision, reaction time and hearing will be impaired.  Euphoria.”

Motor impairment?  I was playing flip cup and doing pretty well at that.  But loss of good judgment I can see.  Seconds after I finished beer SIX, I went to go shotgun beer SEVEN.  Again though, I only blew a .10.  But after the shotgun, my numbers would spike greatly for the rest of the night.

Not so long after I finished BEER EIGHT.  This time I blew a .14.  At this point, I supposedly have “Gross motor impairment and lack of physical control.  Blurred vision and major loss of balance.  Euphoria is reduced and dysphoria is beginning to appear.”

Next came BEER NINE, for which I blew a .16.  This means “Dysphoria (anxiety, restlessness) predominates, nausea may appear.  The drinker has the appearance of a ‘sloppy drunk’.”  What’s great about all this mention of dysphoria and lack of motor skills is the fact that I was playing beer pong and made six of the ten cups, including making four in a row and the last cup on a fade away jumper.  What was true was I was beginning to get loud and sloppy.

Next for BEER TEN I blew a .20 followed lastly by BEER ELEVEN for which I blew a .26.  Here is where the side effects get more serious: “Needs assistance in walking; total mental confusion.  Dysphoria with nausea and some vomiting.”  What is more important than just not being able to walk straight is that I was probably one or two beers from blacking out.

If my BAC went up .04, I reach “Lack of consciousness.”  Needless to say, I have zero recollection of making it upstairs to my room, so I was pretty damn close to black out.

Myth Testing

With the night over and me blowing a .26, I deemed it time to put some common myths to the test.  Now these are by no means hard facts and definitely relative, but the results do indicate that certain actions have an effect on a breathlyzer.

(**NOTE: College Drinker does not encourage you to try the tactics listed below, or to drive while intoxicated.  It’s illegal, don’t do it.)

Test #1: Blowing softly into the breathalyzer. For this I blew a .13.  The theory is, the less air you give, the less alcohol it’ll detect.

Test #2: Inhaling instead of exhaling. I blew an error message.  This technique doesn’t work because it doesn’t trick off the sensors.  Not to mention, whoever is testing you probably isn’t dumb enough to fall for that.

Test #3: Chewing gum while you blow. For this I blew a .12.  The theory is the gum will overpower the alcohol breath you have and lower your test result.

Test #4: Gargling water right before you test. For this I initially blew a .10 then, after a short wait, I blew a .16.  This technique seems to be the best for lower a breathalyzer reading, however, it is short lasting.  Unless you take a quick swig before you test, this won’t do you any good.

Test #5: Mouthwashing before you test. Initially I blew over a .40 and my breathalyzer’s warning message informed me to go to the hospital immediately.  As the mouthwash settled I received a similar result to the water of it lowering then spiking up again quickly.  Regardless, mouthwash has the potential to raise your reading every time so this is the most risky technique to try.

Conclusion

There are some techniques that could potentially lower a breathalyzer reading.  But this will not lower your BAC.  You can chew 50 pieces of gum but if you’re looking sloppy, a breathalyzer won’t save your ass.  Even if you’re dumb enough to drive drunk and you somehow beat a breathalyzer, good luck with your sobriety test.

Also take note that all of the techniques failed to put me under the legal limit.

Breathalyzer for iPod: iBreath

Somebody finally made the iPod useful by making a breathalyzer attachment for it! Despite the stupid rip-off name, the from David Steele is actually a good idea for the College Drinker. To use this one, you just fold out the little straw and blow into it for 5 seconds. The reading is accurate to within .01 BAC. It even has a built in FM wireless transmitter so you can still rock your tunes with this thing attached.

Make a game out of it! See who can score the highest!! If you lose the game, you take a shot! I love the breathalyzer game! (warning: this is not actually a good game)

If you’re the smallest of all your friends (a.k.a. “the driving bitch“) then you might really want to consider getting one of these. Drunk driving is no joke. It can get you into serious shit legally, and it can even get you killed. If you don’t live in the city where you can take a cab, and you can’t call a safe ride or something like that, make sure you blow this little baby before you drive.

And remember: if you happen to be less than 21 (OMG!), the legal limit for driving is not .08! It is .00! You really don’t get much pussy riding your bike because you don’t have a license until you’re 21…

iBreath: Breathalyzer for iPod from: [David Steele]