The Greatest Usual (and Not So Usual) Spring Break Destinations

Spring break is a time to emerge from the undead, get a tan, get wasted, sleep on the beach, and get laid. This list is an eclectic mix of destinations that skew more towards the side of debauchery and less towards the side of culture. Get out there and make bad choices.

Dublin, Ireland

What you’ll drink:
The most delicious Guinness ever. Irish coffee. More Guinness.
What you’ll do:
Freeze your ass of during the day (huh, cold on spring break?). Drink beer with breakfast (blood sausage anyone?). Develop an Irish accent.
What you didn’t know:
Take a day trip from Dublin to the Cliffs of Moher. They’re 241 meters tall (anyone know how to convert from the metric system?). It’s also a high wind area where tourists fall to their death each year.
Details:
You’ll get to drink with locals. Seriously. And they’re batshit crazy. Be sure to hang out at Temple Bar and avoid anything that fancies itself a club, this is a pub trip. Oh, and you can stay in hostels on the cheap to make up for the expense of flying across the Atlantic.

Las Vegas, NV

What you’ll drink:
Overpriced cocktails and free drinks to aid your nasty gambling addiction.
What you’ll do:
It’s sin city. You’ll do everything. All night gambling? Check. Baking-soda ridden blow off of a stripper’s ass? Check. Tequila body shots while midgets dance to a techno remix of the oompa loompa song? You bet! Vegas has it all.
What you didn’t know:
When you’re talking to that perfect 10 in some ridiculous club and things are going well chances are you’re talking to a middle-of-the-road call girl. Yes, she’ll sleep with you, but you’ll have to pay for it. It’s hard to tell a prostitute from a normal girl, for good or bad.
Details:
Make sure you’re 21, Vegas is the wholly grail of fake ID checking. Don’t do the “oxygen bars” - they’re a gimmicky rip of that’ll leave you with a nasty nasal infection. All-you-can-eat buffets are a godsend. Ride the New York New York casino’s roller coaster while wasted and sneak into the Tropican’s supreme (but old) pool.

Acapulco, Mexico

What you’ll drink:
Whatever Senor Frogs has on special…tequila sunrises.
What you’ll do:
Recover. Constantly.
What you didn’t know:
Spring break destinations seem to be ridden with cliffs. Coincidence? If you wake up before 1pm you can see world famous cliff divers jump from 136 foot cliffs. No joke. If you find your girlfriend waking up elsewhere with lipstick smeared and an apologetic tone you’ll be jumping from them, too.
Details:
Use a condom. And don’t take pills from strangers. See girls new to the freshman 15 that haven’t seen the sun in 4 months trying to fit in to bikinis from high school.

Miami, FL

What you’ll drink:
Whatever drink specials are on South Beach.
What you’ll do:
Spend $30 getting into clubs that don’t have drink specials. Gawk at all the beautiful people. Beach volleyball, if that’s your thing. Chain smoking?
What you didn’t know:
It’s not like in the Girls Gone Wild videos. It doesn’t matter how much crème de menthe and skol you mix in a water bottle (that sounds absolutely foul) and try to force-feed to your new best friend. If you want the irresponsible decision making portrayed in the media drive three hours south to Key West to get your fill.
Details:
Show up and bring condoms. This trip is going to be full of bad choices.

Cancun, Mexico

What you’ll drink:
Margaritas, Sea Breezes, and Tequila.
What you’ll do:
It’ll be like a frat party, but on a beach.
What you didn’t know:
You’ll probably get mauled by a hurricane.
Details:
Get rubbed on by a bunch of sweaty latin dudes and frat boys in overpriced clubs. Be prepared to drink three gallons of alcohol to get a buzz because that wristband Joey got you is only good for mass-produced econo-class drinks.

Breckenridge, CO

What you’ll drink:
Mass quantities of cheap beer and hard liquor in your cabin at night.
What you’ll do:
Ski all day and drink all night.
What you didn’t know:
You should probably know how to ski or snowboard for this to be fun. Go in big groups. You’ll get a better deal on lodging: rent a condo. You’ll also get a tan, fret not, it’ll just be on your face and make you look like a raccoon.
Details:
It’s a judgment call, do you want to forgo the sun for a chance for some great skiing Skiing? Skiing is of course considered physical activity, so if that’s not your thing, take that into account before making the plunge.

Home, Your House

What you’ll drink:
Whatever is in your parents liquor cabinet and fridge. Manischewitz?
What you’ll do:
Get home cooked meals and wallow in the misery of not being at one of the above places. See friends from high school. Shack up with the old ex. Impress your parents with your new-found shotgunning skills.
What you didn’t know:
Since you moved out your parents got bored and confused. They redecorated your room and are now having a lot of sex. Watch out!
Details:
Besides the inherent embarrassment that can accompany revealing that home is your ultimate spring break party destination, it does have its perks: it’s cheap living and you can forget how to do laundry for a week.

Related stuff:

1. New Study: High School Drinkers Become College Drinkers
According to a new study from the University of Maryland, the amount that a person drinks in High School is a strong indicator of the amount that they will drink in...
2. 20ft Tall Moosehead Bottle Stolen by Spring Breakers
Spring Break pranksters make off with 20-foot inflatable beer bottle The beer bottle bandits waited until 5 a.m., after all the cooks and waitresses had gone home and the...
3. 7 Places to Flabongo this Summer
Summertime means outdoor drinking. But just because you're not at a house party doesn't mean that you have to sacrifice the beer bong experience. We teamed up with our favorite...