Remember Names Even When You’re Wasted

83% of Americans report that they are “bad with names.”

It’s a problem in the professional world, and arguably an even bigger problem in college social life. We meet so many people all the time that it’s impossible to keep track of them all. Especially when alcohol is in the picture, these people are lucky if you remember their existence, let alone their name. Now I know that you’re awesome, and these people are puny and insignificant compared to you, but every person you don’t remember is one less friend/job connection/hookup.

Lucky for you, over the years I’ve discovered some easy ways to remember these people. Or at least pretend you remember them.

Say my name say my name
Best way to remember someone’s name is to actually use it. Most names that get forgotten are forgotten within the first 8 seconds. If you say the person’s name once or twice while you still know it, your chances of remembering it are exponentially higher. If you meet a guy named Charlie, instead of saying “nice to meet you” or “get off my foot, asshole”, say “nice to meet you Charlie,” or “get off my foot, Charlie.”

Pay attention
Most names get forgotten because we’re just not paying attention. People say their names and it goes in one ear and out the other. At the beginning of the conversation, when most names get said, you don’t really care what their name is. You have no reason to believe that they are worth remembering yet. But even if they never prove to be interesting, dull people can still be very useful to know.

Plus, people will just like you more if you remember them, and the more people that like you, the more people will have sex with you. So, when you’re meeting a new person, take a second to look at them. Identify a facial feature that makes them stand out and register it. I say facial feature because, believe it or not, more than one girl has huge boobs, and they don’t like being confused for each other on that basis.

Hey, You, good to see you too, Dude
Sometimes it’s just too late. Somebody starts talking to you around campus who you’re pretty sure you’ve never seen before. Your first task is to figure out where you know them from. Hopefully they’ll mention something that will give you a clue. if not, be subtle. Be like “wow it’s been awhile.” If they met you last night this will come across as sarcastic, and you’ll be able to pick up on it when their response is “oh yeah, like 12 whole hours.” If you can figure out when and where you met them, then you don’t have to feel bad. Chances are they don’t remember your name either and you can just ask. Or - and this is what I do - just have meaningless conversations involving no specifics whenever you see them, until finally you’re pretty much friends, and then hopefully they’ll Facebook you.

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