How To: Stay Cool When You Stay Sober

February 13, 2008 · Print This Article



Big test? No worries. Being sober doesn’t always mean no fun.

Sober drinking glass funny saying

 

It is no secret that drinking is essentially the focal point of college social life. Whether you are playing beer pong with a few friends in your apartment or going to some wildly insane kegger, consuming alcohol is the driving force behind 60% of all social activities on campus (getting laid accounts for 30%, food accounts for the remaining 10%).

So what are you supposed to do if you are one of those people who has trouble taking shots and thinks beer tastes like urine? Does a distaste for alcohol automatically make you a social outcast? Well it certainly doesn’t have to. Here are a few ways to keep an active social life in college, even if you don’t drink:

Befriend a Tank

Even if you don’t drink, you can still play popular drinking games like beer pong at college parties. All you have to do is pair up with someone who is willing to drink your share of the cups too. And you’ll find that most people are looking to just get drunk quickly, so drinking for two people is often an attractive option.

The “Bathroom Trick”

This is the perfect option for those of you who still want to play beer pong but don’t want to force your friend to drink your share of the cups. When your cup is made, just slowly sip on the beer. Eventually, more of your cups will be made and you should begin to combine cups so that by the end of the game, everything you are responsible for drinking is in one filled cup. If you win the game and play again, just spread that filled cup into the empty cups set up for the following game. If you lose, grab the filled cup of beer, pretend like you have to go to the bathroom, and once you close the bathroom door, simply pour the beer down the sink. It’s as simple as that.

Designated Driver

Even without drinking, you can still have a great time just walking around socializing with friends and strangers. And when it nears the end of the night, you can score points with the ladies by offering to be a designated driver. You are guaranteed to be showered with hugs and kisses if you kindly offer to drive a bunch of drunk girls home….and who doesn’t love to be showered with hugs and kisses?

Smoke Pot…Lots of Pot

If you don’t drink and don’t even want to pretend that you drink, just smoke pot and lots of it. Be the “relaxed” guy at the party who walks around with a smirk, acting like you are everyone’s best friend. You can still be the life of the party, and you won’t get a hangover the next morning. It’s kind of perfect.

So There You Have It

Those are just a few of the ways you can fit into the college atmosphere, even if you don’t drink. Let me know if you think of others!

 


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Comments

2 Responses to “How To: Stay Cool When You Stay Sober”

  1. Brendon on February 13th, 2008 5:28 pm

    tank seeking non-drinker for beer pong partner. will drink your share of cups. skill with beer pong a plus.

  2. Anonymous on February 13th, 2008 6:37 pm

    whoever this Dave kid is, he is hilarious!

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