Raising the Bar

Thursdays. Better known as “Thirsty” Thursdays. Infamous on college campuses for being the day most students skip their classes, being the night most students go out to bars, and for starting with a “Thurs.” But our main focus is the middle claim, the “bar” phenomenon. Crowded frat parties with beer pong and keg stands are one of the greatest things in the world, but it is fun to experience social life in a more sophisticated way. The more mature appeal has lead college-town bars to become hot spots for campus social life. College students are intrigued by this wild new scene in which they can show off their sexiness.

 

Why go to a bar?
The transition from beer bonging to bar hopping is a difficult one for many young college drinkers to make smoothly. When you and your friends claimed you could out-drink the men’s rugby team at their party last weekend, (and the next morning you woke up in your kitchen with your boxers off but your jeans on, next to a half-eaten can of Chef Boyardee and a sombrero) you were the essence of cool. But no matter how good you look in a sombrero, the same series of events at a bar will leave you looking “immature,” and thus undateable. Immature is one of the worst adjectives a girl can describe you as, right under “creepy” and “potential serial killer.” Trust me, it is a wise decision to learn how to look classy at bars.

 

Keep It Classy

Being classy is all about what you wear, who you’re with, and what you drink. Now we’re not a fashion magazine, but please do your best to look nice when you go out to a bar. Any tool can put on a blazer over a t-shirt, but it takes a very special tool to make it look good. Bandanas, pimp hats, and indoor-sunglasses are also a no-go. As for the company you keep, have a few hot girls as friends with you at all times. If you’re making a group of girls laugh, more hot girls will gravitate towards you; it’s like Newton’s Second Law or something.

What You’re Boozing With

Now College Drinker’s area of expertise: what to drink. Most bars near campus offer wild drink specials like $2 giant cups or $1 shots. These offers are certainly tempting, and if your only concern is getting as drunk as possible on a budget, by all means indulge. But here at the College Drinker, we’re not just about drinking the most, we’re also about drinking the best. Order yourself a beer that comes in a bottle if you can. There are infinite benefits to the bottled beer: less spillage as you get bumped traversing the crowded room, looking awesome holding a cool bottle. Yeah, maybe there’s only two benefits, but it is still worth it. One doesn’t have to spend a fortune either; most bars will have some bottle special at a very decent price.

Another good drink idea is the Kamikaze. Essentially sprite and vodka, this drink is a tasty delight for any gentleman, and also a sure-winner for girls. Walk around with one of those bad boys, and girls will flock to you to steal sips. Now with drink in hand and in belly, venture forth with confidence. Think cool, think mature, and drink like a champion.

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