Shitfaced Saturday

Women absorb alcohol into the bloodstream faster and metabolize it slower than men.

Fucked Up Friday

In 1964, Congress passed an act declaring Bourbon to be “America’s Native Spirit,” and it the official distilled spirit of the United States.

Thirsty Thursday

About.com: After drinking alcohol, one in seven 16-to-24-year-olds have had unprotected sex, while one in five have had sex that they regretted. One in 10 have been unable to remember if they had sex the night before.

Does Red Wine Really Make Chicks Horny?

“Red is hot, and all of a sudden the guy becomes a lot classier” croons UCLA sophomore, Emily Birchfield. “Red wine reminds me of romantic seduction.” We’ve all been told that red wine makes chicks horny, but is this really a fact? And if so, what makes it true? It would seem that the feeling girls get when drinking red wine is largely a result of media depictions, seeing as Birchfield did not even mention its taste. But for some, the taste is what causes the feeling.

Me So Horny

“The mellow taste red wine gives can’t be found in any other drink - beer is meant to be chugged, liquor to get drunk fast, but the taste in red wine allows the drinker to take it slow and just be mellow,” says Sabrina Lopez, 23, of Southern California. But even for Lopez, red wine evokes feelings of intense romance remembered from movies. “[Red wine] makes me want to think of Italy where all the guys are good-looking and romantic”, Lopez adds.20-year-old Aimee Lona says about red wine: “It isn’t a sloppy, ‘I want to rape you’ kind of drunkenness. It’s more of a ‘I want to make love to you’ kind of feeling.” It all boils down to romance, and as long as that presence is felt, girls will find it hard to resist the accompanying feelings.

The Facts

These claims may appear to be subjective, but there are, in fact, scientific findings that support them. Forensic Science International’s Simon Elliot wrote, “It was found that naturally occurring GHB…[was] detected in those beverages involving the fermentation of white and particularly red grapes.” Being college students of the 21st century, it is a safe bet that many of you have heard about the risks of GHB (gamma-Hydroxybutyric acid). GHB is a “date rape” powder, that when poured into a drink, can cause the drinker intense intoxication to the point of passing out completely. However, at low doses, like those found in red wine, GHB causes euphoria, increases sociability, and yes - enhances sex drive. Now, Bob Marley’s lyric “Red, red wine, it’s up to you” should have more meaning for all of us when we sing along.

Word of caution: Many girls swear by white wine, too. KNOW YOUR CHICK!

World’s Biggest Beer Belly?

When your beer belly is a shelf, upon which you can place a beer, you know you’ve probably had too many over the years…

Where does this guy even find shirts he can wear?

Wasted Wednesday

“I stopped drinking, but only when I sleep.” -George Best

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